So I thought it was difficult to find time to blog before, but now that we have two little ones, it's even harder! But trust me, I'm not complaining. These to precious children are just so much fun. It's hard to believe they're really with us sometimes. They both bring us so much joy. They are not officially ours yet, and the social worker has reminded me to keep my emotions in check and to guard my heart, but we've decided to completely and totally love these children regardless of what the outcome may be. They are so loving themselves, it would be impossible not to give them everything we have. Thank you so much for all of your prayers! Please continue to pray that whatever is best for these children is what happens. Michael and I really really want to adopt them-which they were put in our home since we are licensed as foster to adopt, but most importantly we want God's will to be done.

The phone calls and emails and officially started! So far we've gotten requests for 4 placements that we have to now wait and find out if we are picked. On one of them we should find out tomorrow! So please just pray for us to completely and totally put our trust in God right now and have peace about whatever happens.

Michael and I are officially licensed to be foster parents! This means that whenever the right child comes along, we can take them! The whole process has been crazy and fast, but I'm so glad to be at this point. ( I know I forgot to update on the fire inspection, but obviously we've now passed! Thank you for all your prayers!) Now it's time to wait. We we're licensed on January 13th, so it's been just over a week.

I asked our guy how long we should expect to wait for our first phone call and he said 3-5 days. Needless to say we are now on day 8 with out a phone. On Tuesday I was starting to get anxious, very anxious, and was in desperate need of peace. All day I asked God for peace, but continued not to feel the great peace I was hoping for. After school I had a long wait until Michael would come pick me up, so I decided to check email and do other various busying activities. I had my bible study with me that I needed to work on for the bible study that evening, but I kept finding other things to do, while still asking God for peace. Finally I decided it was time to finish my study. The title of the study for that day "To Experience God's Peace". I kid you not. Scripture after scripture revealing the peace that only God can bring. God is good.

As we continue to wait, please pray that we would have peace and that God would give us wisdom when it comes time to say yes or no to a placement. And thank you for all the time you've already spent in prayer for us!

Can't believe I let another month slip by! So much to update...

To start, Michael and I have decided that we are done with fertility treatment. Several things led to this decision, but one major decision that we have made that really helped us decide to quit...We're becoming licensed foster parents! This is something that we have been thinking about/praying about for a long time. Our ultimate desire is to adopt a child (or two!) out of the foster care system. I have been hesitant to tell everyone simply due to the fact that I know this is a topic EVERYONE has an opinion on. But, to my surprise, almost everyone has been encouraging and excited for us! I've only had a couple of people ask me to rethink and wait for me to have my own baby b/c they did not want me to miss out on that experience (yes, I'm being serious...someone really said this to me).

Michael and I started training class the first week of November. We have now completed all but one session (we did about 30 hours of training in 2 1/2 weeks...so glad that's done!). We've turned in our application and are officially on our way! We still have paper work to finish, and I'm so glad I can see the end in sight! On Monday we are having our fire inspection, which I'm super nervous about. I talked to the guy today and he said almost everyone fails the first time, so just expect it. I don't want to fail! But I have a feeling we will since our smoke alarms are not interconnecting (the requirements are crazy!) and I'm not sure that's something you can fix in a weekend. But we are definitely going to try! Once that's complete we get to do our home study!!! I'm hoping we'll be able to do the home study sometime at the beginning of January. Then I believe it's about a month's wait to be "processed". After that we should be licensed and ready to go!

One, very logical, question I have been asked is "Why not go with an adoption agency where you can know the mother before the birth and be their for the birth?" There probably is a lot less heartache and risk going this route, but neither Michael nor I feel this is where God is leading us. While yes, we do desperately want a child, that is not our only motivation for going through the foster care system. God calls us to take care of those that are widowed and orphaned. This is something Michael and I really feel God has placed on our hearts. Here is our chance to love a child that needs it and may not get it from anyone else.

We know that there may be some difficult times that come along with this, but God has already shown Himself faithful to us through the hard times. We know His love, grace, and mercy will be enough to see us through anything.

So, please pray for us to have patience through this process while we wait to be licensed. Also that our home inspection goes well!

In other exciting news, Michael and I are an uncle and aunt! Our first nephew is here- Jonah Matthew Sitton! He is super cute!

Yesterday was an absolutely beautiful day. Michael and I went to Nolan's grave and delivered the gifts to Texas Children's. We spent the entire day together. Just the two of us. I think that's exactly what we needed. It was nice to be able to remember Nolan and talk about him as much as we wanted/needed to. I want to thank everyone that prayed for us this year, listened to us cry, wrote comforting notes or letters, or called just to see how we were doing. God used you in our lives in a mighty way. I want to keep today's blog short and close with my 3 favorite memories of Nolan.
-when Michael laid his hand on Nolan's belly in the NICU and prayed over him
-when Nolan was crying and I sang to him and he was comforted by it. I just remember that he stopped crying and just seemed to look up at me
-when the nurses put him on his belly because he slept better that way, so his bottom was wiggling in the air. Still the cutest thing I've ever seen

Thank you!

I just want to thank everyone that came to Nolan's birthday/memorial party! It went better than I could have imagined!!! I also wanted to thank everyone that sent something if they couldn't make it. It still means so much that you're remembering Nolan with us. Michael and I are looking foward to taking all the gifts to Texas Children's on Wednesday. We literally have a car load! So thank you again!

This will be a quick one because I'm on my lunch break at work, but I just wanted to say that God has really been gracious and has renewed my peace, strength, and hope. Yesterday morning I woke up mad and angry at the world (I had also gone to bed that way). I really thought that there was nothing that would be able to snap me out of it. At lunch time I finally decided to open my bible and do my "homework" for my bible study. I felt God just soften my heart and I was able to let most of the anger go. I'm still working on some of it, but I feel like I can breath again, make it to the end of the day without having a meltdown.

Before I head off to eat, please pray that everything comes together with Nolan's party. It's getting close and I feel like I still have a lot to do.