There are many times that I want to speak up and say something, but I'm to worried it won't come out right so I don't say anything at all. Then I usually regret that I didn't speak up. This morning was one of those times. During Sunday school there was a discussion on suffering and questions we have about why we suffer (at least that's what it was about when I walked in. Praise band practice ran a little late and then I talked afterwards. So needless to say I was super late getting to Sunday school today.). I figured since I didn't say anything this morning, I would go ahead and say it here. So many times I have heard the question "why? Why would God allow this to happen?" I think it's clear, for His glory. I'm so thankful to know what Job did not know. Job has so many questions for God and wants Him to answer. What I find so amazing is that God did answer him, but just not like Job would have thought. God reminded Job who He was and is. He didn't explain why, just that He is Almighty and Creator. After God was done, Job's questions went away. It was enough for him to know that God was God and He was in control. When I read that part in Job, I really felt that God was speaking directly to me. The only thing I need to know is that Nolan's life and death served to bring glory to God, and God is in control.

I think the other reason God allows us to suffer is to give us a yearning for heaven. The book I'm reading that talks about Job points out how Job yearned for heaven because his suffering was so great. Honestly, if this life never had suffering and pain- who would want to leave it? While I find joy in living my life and serving God, I also look forward to the day I get to meet Him in heaven. I think it's hard to even begin to imagine a place with no more pain and suffering. I really don't think we as humans can even start to fathom how amazing a place it's going to be.

Basically, I think it comes down to this- who are you living your life for? Yourself or God. No suffering is to great to bear when your life is centered around God. I think the toughest thing is giving up our own plans and dreams we have for ourselves and surrendering them to God and letting His will be done. When I was reading my book today, I read something that really made me stop and think. The author said that often times we pray for the miracle we want whether it be a miraculous healing or a dream of ours to come true, and then we tag on the end of our prayer that God's will be done. Instead we should pray that His will be done and if it's inside His will that those other things may be done. This is a tough thing to do and something I struggle with. I have my hopes and dreams and plans for my life. But as I was reminded this morning, it is about His will and not mine.