Yesterday was an absolutely beautiful day. Michael and I went to Nolan's grave and delivered the gifts to Texas Children's. We spent the entire day together. Just the two of us. I think that's exactly what we needed. It was nice to be able to remember Nolan and talk about him as much as we wanted/needed to. I want to thank everyone that prayed for us this year, listened to us cry, wrote comforting notes or letters, or called just to see how we were doing. God used you in our lives in a mighty way. I want to keep today's blog short and close with my 3 favorite memories of Nolan.
-when Michael laid his hand on Nolan's belly in the NICU and prayed over him
-when Nolan was crying and I sang to him and he was comforted by it. I just remember that he stopped crying and just seemed to look up at me
-when the nurses put him on his belly because he slept better that way, so his bottom was wiggling in the air. Still the cutest thing I've ever seen

Thank you!

I just want to thank everyone that came to Nolan's birthday/memorial party! It went better than I could have imagined!!! I also wanted to thank everyone that sent something if they couldn't make it. It still means so much that you're remembering Nolan with us. Michael and I are looking foward to taking all the gifts to Texas Children's on Wednesday. We literally have a car load! So thank you again!

This will be a quick one because I'm on my lunch break at work, but I just wanted to say that God has really been gracious and has renewed my peace, strength, and hope. Yesterday morning I woke up mad and angry at the world (I had also gone to bed that way). I really thought that there was nothing that would be able to snap me out of it. At lunch time I finally decided to open my bible and do my "homework" for my bible study. I felt God just soften my heart and I was able to let most of the anger go. I'm still working on some of it, but I feel like I can breath again, make it to the end of the day without having a meltdown.

Before I head off to eat, please pray that everything comes together with Nolan's party. It's getting close and I feel like I still have a lot to do.

Michael and I are going to do our first month of IUI. I'm completely confused by my doctor and what's supposed to happen and when, but we're going to continue with this month anyway. Can't say I'm terribly excited. Not to be a drama queen or anything, but I'm beginning to think it just may not happen. I hate the emotional roller coaster every month. I've decided I'm just going to start making plans without considering whether or not I'll be pregnant. It gets old after awhile...o we can't do this because we might be pregnant...and then find out a few days later we weren't even pregnant (this is a re-occurring thing almost every month). Then I just feel plain stupid for even thinking that I could be pregnant. So, that's where we're at. Sometimes I think it would just be easier to handle if Michael and I were the ones deciding we didn't want another child at this time. I've tried to convince myself of that many times. Hasn't worked yet.

So many more things to say, but it's late and I have work tomorrow. Please pray that God gives me peace and strength-I seem to be low on both right now.

I've got a praise! Before I get started, let me say I am not pregnant...that I know of! With that said, here's my praise- I ovulated!!! I bet you're wondering why this is such a big deal. Well, if you remember back to a few posts ago, I mentioned that my doctor did not prescribe me chlomid this month because we were waiting on the CF results. That means that I ovulated without any medication!!! So now I'm finding myself in a position I wasn't sure I would get to be in this month...waiting to find out if I'm pregnant or not!!! I can't help but think back to what God was teaching me these past few weeks, He is POWERFUL !

On another note, Nolan's B-day/memorial/playground dedication party is officially scheduled for November 7th from 4:30-5:30 at the church. There will be food, cake (or possibly cupcakes), Michael and I speaking for just a little bit, a moonwalk, and hopefully the playground! I'm hoping to get invitations out soon, so get ready!

Yea!

Another quick update...Michael is not a carrier!!! Thanks for all of your prayers!

Children's Church

Just a quick update tonight. We haven't heard back about Michael's results yet. I've been strangely peaceful and calm while waiting. So thank you for all your prayers. Hopefully I'll be able to update about that this coming week.

I can already tell that my cycle is very off this month, which means it doesn't look good for ovulating. I was starting to feel a little upset and worried by this over the past few days. This morning we woke up late and had to prepare for teaching children's church on top of that. Needless to say, I didn't think I was going to learn much today at church, considering we got to Sunday school halfway through the lesson, and we wouldn't be in the service. But wow, who knew a lesson meant for children would teach me so much. Today's whole lesson was centered around how powerful God is. Simple, yet so easily forgotten. It talked about how we have nothing to fear because God is bigger than everything on heaven and earth. I think God's timing is amazing, that Michael and I would be teaching children's church this weekend and have this lesson.