Remembering

Today's blog is going to be a short one. Michael and I have been spending the last few days visiting with family. On Weds. night we got to sit down with his aunt and chat. While our situations are a little different, I know she understands what we're going through better than most. I was a little nervous before she came over because I didn't know what to expect, but it was probably one of the most enjoyable conversations I've had about Nolan since his death. Instead of focusing on the pain and what to expect in the future, we looked at his pictures and chatted about our memories. Michael's parents and grandparents were there as well, so it was nice to hear Michael's parents sharing memories they had. For a moment I felt like we stepped out of reality and just celebrated his birth. There were still conversations about his death, but they weren't as heavy as usual. That was the happiest I have gone to bed for a long time. I think it's going to be hard for others to understand, but I want to talk about Nolan. He was here, he lived, and he's my son. I know others are just trying to be sensitive and don't want to bring up any painful memories, but it is more painful to ignore what happened. I guess I'm writing this part inorder to let everyone know that when you see me, email me, or talk to me on the phone, I want you to ask me questions about Nolan. Even if I cry, it brings me joy to talk about him. Thank you for reading- it's my way of getting to share Nolan with you. I'm not done with today's post, but I will have to finish later tonight...