Christmas is over! While we did enjoy Christmas, I have to admit that I'm glad it's over. For some reason both Michael and I found it difficult to listen to Christmas music, and we generally listen to KSBJ while driving. All they played was Christmas music after Thanksgiving, so I was really excited when I turned on my radio the day after Christmas and heard normal music on again.
One question I haven't figured out how to answer- how was your Christmas? I wonder if people want the real answer, or a quick "it was good." To be truthful, there were a lot of great moments and I did really enjoy myself. But I would definitely be lying if I said that it was all good. Michael has gotten really good at telling when I need a moment alone with him. I'm not comfortable crying in front of others. I hope one day I will be, maybe it will make things easier in that I won't try to hold in certain feelings until there's no one else in the room, and it will allow others to help. I know I've said this before, but it was the strangest things that trigger painful moments. I've reached the point where I'll be thinking that I'm doing really well, then it seems that out of nowhere I'm hurting again. Christmas day went pretty well until I started looking at pictures of Nolan. I look at the pictures all the time, so I'm not sure why they triggered such an emotional response that time, but they did. Going to sleep was rough that night. One night we were playing monopoly and it just hit me in the middle of the game that Nolan was not there. It was weird, because it was randomly in the middle of the game. As others played, I quietly imagined what I would be doing at that moment with Nolan if he was still alive. There were some other sad moments, but I won't go into all of them.
Even though there were some sad moments, there were also some really great moments. With Michael's side of the family we had craft night, which is now a family tradition. This years craft required some creativity and lots of patience! We made Christmas mosaics which meant gluing lots of little pieces. My sister in law had suggested to everyone to glue down the pieces as we put our design down on the tile. I didn't take her advice and later regretted it when I had to try to pick up the tiny pieces to glue each one without messing up the other little pieces. But I can say I honestly enjoyed it! With my side of the family we played catch phrase, also a family/friends tradition. Every Christmas Eve we go to a family friends house and there are lots of people there. So, it's a rather large group of people yelling and shouting trying to figure out the word(s). Half the fun is just trying to hear the persons whose turn it is. We generally play men vs. women, but I'm not sure who won this year.
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