Thursday, December 4, 2008
Work?
I guess right now my biggest dilemma is when to go back to work. My bosses have been great about not pressuring me, they even set up a list of people to come and visit with me the first week after Nolan's funeral. I had thought about going back to work last Monday because Michael was going back, and I was afraid to be alone. Then I realized that simply not having Michael with me would be enough to handle with out being at work. Having time to myself has proved to be a good thing. This week I went into Nolan's nursery and spent time with God and dealing with the pain. I know it sounds strange to have my quiet time in the nursery, but it feels necessary to help confront some of the painful feelings and my hope is that the nursery will be a comforting place to be and not a painful room to go into. I know that taking this week off of work was necessary, but I don't know what to do about next week. Nolan was supposed to be born on Dec. 9, which would be next Tuesday. I'm not sure I should be at work that day, it may be a hard day. I feel as though I've been gone from work a really long time and people are probably starting to think I should be back. I just don't want to go back and than have to leave because I break down in the middle of the day, and I'm also worried about questions or comments from all my students. I've been praying about it, but would appreciate all the prayer I can get about this descision.
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3 comments:
You come back to work when YOU are ready. If Monday comes around and you feel like you need more time, do whats best for you. No one is thinking you should be back yet if that makes you feel any better.We will support you no matter which choice you make.
Also...you had a C-section and your body may not be ready so be careful! :)
Davra,
I hope we can catch up soon, but I just wanted to say God bless your really big heart! In the midst of all that you're going through, you still always manage to think of others above yourself, and that is truly amazing. Like Jamie posted, you should only come back when you are ready...both physically and emotionally. Right now is a great time to take care of yourself and spend some time healing with God, Michael, and everyone that loves you. It's such a blessing that spending time in Nolan's room has been a healing process for you and has given you a sense of calm. When it comes to work, you have NOTHING to worry about. Your kids are fine, everyone there is supporting you and wanting you to take all the time that you need. Ann and Gina themselves didn't even think you'd consider coming back until after Christmas. Please keep in mind that we are here for you and will do all that is necessary to help you transition back to your class when you're ready to take that step. Until then, take one day at a time, one memory at a time, and one prayer at a time. God is there with you always and listening to all of our prayers. I believe that He will also give you assurance when it's time to return. Until then, take the time that you need. We love you guys and miss you!
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