Christmas

Tonight Michael and I went to a candle light service at the funeral home. It turned out to be really nice. There was a choir that sang and sounded nice(although the choir and the drummer couldn't seem to find the same beat-it provided Michael and I with a little comic relief) and a short sermon. The funeral home had a Christmas ornament for us with Nolan's name on it. It's kind of strange sitting in a room full of strangers and knowing that everyone is dealing with the same thing.

I'm nervous about the holidays. We had so many plans for what we would be doing with Nolan right now. Please pray for Michael and I during this time (I know so many of ya'll already are- so thank you for that!).

As Christmas gets closer, I've really stopped to think about God's sacrifice for us. I can't believe that he willingly sent his only Son to suffer and die on my account. I would have never willingly given Nolan up, let alone watch him suffer and be called horrible things by other people. I didn't have to watch my son suffer, and people had nothing but nice things to say about Nolan. If anyone had said anything bad about Nolan or hurt him, I know I would not have been able to give them mercy, forgiveness, or love like God gave us. I have to say, I feel like my understanding and appreciation for God's sacrifice of His Son for me has grown. To know that I was worth all that suffering, how amazing!